the man and his latte

Today while I was waiting in the starbucks line a very large man came in the door behind me YELLING into his cell phone.

“I know that’s what he told you,” he said, “but I’m sick of that shit. You tell him that he needs to get that work done. You tell him that he’s had three months now and that work isn’t done and he needs to get OFF HIS ASS AND GET THAT SHIT DONE. NO. NO. You’re NOT LISTENING.” The man was poking the air next to my head. I edged away nervously. The people in line behind him edged away nervously. “You need to get on the GODDAMN PHONE AND tell him what I’m telling you. Tell him I WANT THAT WORK DONE AND I WANT IT DONE THIS WEEK OR HE’S GOING TO GET A VISIT DIRECTLY FROM ME AND NO ONE WANTS THAT DO THEY. OK? OK? OK? GOOD.”

The man slapped his phone shut and moved up to the counter. “Hi,” he said to the barista, who edged away nervously. “I’d like a decaf pumpkin latte.”

7 thoughts on “the man and his latte

  1. Can you imagine him on fully-caffeinated? He’d have a massive coronary right there in Starbuck’s.

  2. There are things I miss about that Bay Area, but people like

    that is not one of them 🙂 It took a while for me to get used to how very polite everyone is here in Oregon. It actually seemed kind of creepy, at first, as if they might want something…but they didn’t. They’re just nice. Go figure.

    The story made me laugh. Thank you. What amazes me, is that no one stood up to him, and said “Excuse me, this seems to be an important conversation to you but it is interrupting my morning’s peace, could you please take this outside?”

    I do that sort of thing all the time. Partly, it is because I am about to turn 50 and you put up with less and less crap when you get older. And partly, I feel violated by loud and/or ultra personal phone calls. I do not wish to be involved in their drama and trauma and I will tell them so, politely. As a friend of mine likes to say, I am happy to be their learning experience.

    It beats walking out the door feeling angry and thinking about what I *would* have said.


  3. Does anyone EVER tell these guys – I am guessing it is guys who do this – to shut up and bugger off?

    Well, your great story has convinced me to do that next time. There is only so much crap we can take in one lifetime. It’s like the theory that you only have so many heartbeats then, that’s it, time’s up.

    Next time, I’m on to him!! Thanks for the motivational impetus!

  4. OMG I hate guys like that. I have a few that I work with who are always yelling into the phone. Sometimes it’s so loud I see my co-workers take the phone away from their ear! Ugh! Makes me irritated.

    But as for the guy on the other end of that phone call, I bet the one he was angry at was playing video games instead of working!

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