The best time to plant beets and set bombs

I bought the 2004 Old Farmer’s Almanac today. I get one every year, partially because I like to know about sunset and sunrise times (I’m like an onion, really sensitive to day length) and also because I just find it kind of charming. Goofy advice about preventing gout and pickle recipes and stuff. Its cute.

The bookstore clerk looked at the book and looked at me and said, “Hmmmm.” I said “Yeah, I’m planning to become a terrorist this year.”