Top Ten HTML Extensions that Didn't Make it Into Netscape 0.9

(because they ran out of beer)

1. <WIRED>...</WIRED>
   Renders the enclosed text in Sturm und Drang 374 Medium Bold Condensed, in light purple on a neon orange background. Tells you repeatedly how cool you are for using netscape.
2. <ROACH>....</ROACH>
   When selected, the enclosed text runs and hides under the nearest window. OR, giggles a lot and demands nachos, depending on your definition of "roach." (the formal definition, of course, to be determined by the Official Honorary Internet Standards Committee For Moving Really Slowly.)
3. <KILL_SGML>
   Should anyone foolish enough to think that HTML is still SGML and try and run a netscape-html document through an SGML editor, processor, or other tool, this tag causes an immediate core dump, erases anything on your disk with "DTD" in the name, and emails a randomly-selected insult to Tim Pierce.
4. <PINHEAD>...</PINHEAD>
   Inserts "zippyisms" into the enclosed text. Perfect for those professional documents.
5. <SECRET>....</SECRET>
   In order to read the enclosed text, you have to have secret spy decoder glasses (available direct from Netscape for a reasonable fee). You can also read it by holding your computer in front of a full moon during the autumn solstice.
6. <HYPE>
   Causes Marc Andreesen to magically appear and grant you an interview (whether you want one or not). Please use this tag sparingly.
7. <PEEK>....</PEEK>
   
8. <POKE>...</POKE>
   So you want more control over screen layout in HTML? Well, here ya go.
9. <YOGSOTHOTH>
   Summons the elder gods to suck away your immortal soul. Or Bill Gates, if the elder gods are busy. Unpredictable (but amusing) results occur when the <YOGSOTHOTH> and <HYPE> tags are used in close proximity.
10. <BLINK>...</BLINK>
    Causes the enclosed text to....ooops, that one made it in.

(1994)