lauralemay :: essays

Snowblind

Tue, 01 Oct 2002 15:05:51 -0800

When there's nothing else to write about, write about the weather.

The Cheese Stands Alone

Sat, 01 Sep 2001 15:03:48 -0800

And this book really sucks. No wonder corporate america is in trouble.

Evil Bushy-Tailed Invaders from Mars

Wed, 01 Aug 2001 15:00:22 -0800

If I don't post anything here for a really long time (er, longer than usual, er, never mind) send help.

The Weed

Sun, 01 Jul 2001 14:58:19 -0800

The story of an evil monster of a plant we can't seem to control. But ooh! such pretty flowers.

Drive

Fri, 01 Jun 2001 14:56:52 -0800

It was a perfect day, I was on the perfect road and I had the perfect car. I was doomed.

Valley of Heart's Delight

Tue, 01 May 2001 14:50:46 -0800

I used to know a man in town who owned a cherry orchard.

Just Another Day at the Cafe

Sun, 01 Apr 2001 14:48:10 -0800

Two little snippets I wrote out in longhand. All this really happened.

Peep Nation

Thu, 01 Mar 2001 14:33:06 -0800

I got in an obsessive conversation with some friends about Marshmallow Peeps, that confection that only seems to appear around Eastertime. Around that same time, a recipe for making homemade peeps appeared in the magazine Martha Stewart Living. This is a very Martha thing -- waste a lot of time and energy doing something homemade that you can buy in the store for less than a buck. But I am insane, so I tried it.

The Trunk

Thu, 01 Feb 2001 14:31:00 -0800

Some people have jewelry or photographs for family heirlooms. I have a trunk.

Tin Roof

Mon, 01 Jan 2001 14:27:25 -0800

We fixed the barn, then it rained, and I wrote about it. I've been doing a lot of this sort of meaningless painting with words recently.

Blackberry Season

Fri, 01 Dec 2000 10:55:11 -0800

Indulge me with a little arty stuff.

Bloodsucking Monsters

Thu, 01 Jun 2000 10:52:16 -0800

I'm told this story is "squicky." It was pretty "squicky" living through it, too.

Lunacy in the Springtime

Sat, 01 Apr 2000 10:49:40 -0800

And you thought robins were nice quiet birds that just flit about on the lawn.

Thoughts on a Dark Starry Night

Sat, 01 Jan 2000 14:38:14 -0800

More art. I'm getting maudlin in my old age.

Fear and Loathing at the Santa Clara County Fair

Tue, 01 Jun 1999 14:26:07 -0800

So I grew up in the city, OK? I am culturally deprived of farm experiences.

The Giant Drill Bit

Fri, 01 Jan 1999 14:11:52 -0800

I had a run-in with stinky cheese, a giant drill bit, the local fire department, a tow truck, and my car insurance company, in that order.

Shooting Stars

Tue, 01 Sep 1998 14:09:15 -0800

I went out to watch the Leonid meteor showers back in November. They were kinda cool.

Living in the Mountains

Mon, 01 Jun 1998 13:36:05 -0800

A couple of years ago Eric and I moved up into the mountains south of Silicon Valley. Someone on the net asked us how we were doing. I wrote this bit in response.

Consider the Source

Thu, 01 Jan 1998 13:10:42 -0800

When Mozilla, Netscape's open-source browser, was first released, Salon asked me to do a "review" of the source code.

Thoughts on Turning 30

Sun, 01 Jun 1997 12:42:46 -0800

Remember that "wear sunscreen" thing that went around a few years back? I wrote this BEFORE THEN. Really.

Dust Gets in Your Eyes

Wed, 01 Jan 1997 09:32:47 -0800

Adventures getting injured on motorcycles in the dirt.

How To Start Your Own Silicon Valley Startup

Sat, 01 Jun 1996 20:43:18 -0800

My proudest moment: I had a comic strip in the New York Times. This is no mean feat, given that the New York Times doesn't run comics. I only did the writing; Sue Truesdell did the art.

A Trip to Comdex

Mon, 01 Apr 1996 19:54:34 -0800

I signed books at Comdex in Las Vegas in 1996. Gawd, it was awful.

Seven Miles Per Hour

Mon, 01 Jan 1996 11:35:30 -0800

Treadmills are dangerous. I'm warning you.

A Trip to Boston

Sat, 01 Jul 1995 18:17:20 -0800

I was in Boston in 1995 for the W3C's World Wide Web Conference. While I was there I ruminated on the weather and on crossing the street.

Not for Use by Small Animals

Thu, 01 Jun 1995 18:11:49 -0800

I don't think my warranty covers this.

A Comparison Between Netscape 2.0 and Nitrous Oxide

Mon, 01 May 1995 18:04:18 -0800

Sort of a follow-up to the Top Ten, below. If you're going to send me mail insisting that nitrous oxide is actually N02, not N20, and that invalidates the joke, don't. Look it up first. I'm right.

On Having Weird Hair in New York

Sat, 01 Apr 1995 17:59:06 -0800

Well, that title just about sums it up.

The Angel of Death

Wed, 01 Mar 1995 16:34:38 -0800

Or it could just have been the Angel of Fashion, telling me that I wear too much black clothing. I don't really know.

The Battle of the Bathtub Drain

Wed, 01 Feb 1995 16:31:10 -0800

When read in conjunction with the sewer story, below, you may wonder just what insult I gave to the god of plumbing in a previous life. I get about two emails a month from folks who tell me they googled drain unclogging solutions and found this page AND IT WORKED.

Death by Wasabi

Sun, 01 Jan 1995 16:01:55 -0800

Laura and Jamie have sushi. Was it the temptation or the competition that got them into trouble? You be the judge.

Near Death on Muni

Thu, 01 Dec 1994 15:59:36 -0800

I went Christmas caroling and nearly didn't come back.

Top Ten HTML Extensions that Didn't Make it Into Netscape 0.9

Fri, 01 Jul 1994 19:07:08 -0800

Yes, that says .9. I wrote this way back in 1994 when .9 was released. Later I found out that the tag was actually added to Netscape as a joke (although it doesn't appear to work any more, alas).

If after reading all the bits in this section it seems like I was picking on Netscape, well, that's because I was. It was a minor hobby at the time. Now they're owned by AOL and there's just no fun in that.

The Sewer Incident

Sun, 01 May 1994 19:05:27 -0800

An adventure that began with a stopped up toilet...

The Oil Change

Tue, 01 Mar 1994 18:59:03 -0800

Laura changes the oil in her car. Yes, its more interesting than it sounds.

Why Startups Aren't Gothic

Sat, 01 Jan 1994 18:45:36 -0800

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, I was a goth, and I hung out on the newsgroup alt.gothic. One of the ongoing irritations on that group was the perennial question, "is X gothic." A friend of mine asked, "Are startups gothic," and this was my reply. I wrote it just before I quit my job and ran screaming from the misery and pain it was causing me.

This piece also explains why there is nothing here for 1993.

How to Live with a Neurotic Motorcycle

Tue, 01 Sep 1992 20:32:26 -0800

Probably won't make much sense to you if you aren't into bikes. I had a really poorly tuned 1975 Honda that inspired this bit of nonsense.

Help! I've Been Dilated!

Mon, 01 Jun 1992 20:29:58 -0800

Strange things happen at the eye doctors.

Videodrone

Sun, 01 Mar 1992 20:21:20 -0800

I was momentarily addicted to a Sega Game Gear.

Fun with Macintoshes

Thu, 01 Aug 1991 20:19:09 -0800

Fun with OLD Macintoshes, that is. You'll have to picture an eighties-era MacPlus in order to understand this.

Cats and Vets and Shots

Sat, 01 Jun 1991 17:41:40 -0800

Who doesn't like a good cat story? Especially one that involves torture?

Cable Television, a Rant

Mon, 01 Apr 1991 16:42:08 -0800

Several moves ago, I had a small run-in with the local cable company.

Always Read Your Radio

Fri, 01 Feb 1991 15:55:14 -0800

Most people who do something this stupid wouldn't admit it in public. I write about it for the amusement of everyone who visits my web site.