So my doctor tells me that either I cracked a shoulder blade when I fell (ouch), or, more likely, I just messed up a bunch of muscles and nerves back there and everything is all twisted up and angry and spasming. Which is why two weeks later I’m still wandering around the house and the office going “ow. ow. ow.”
In either case this is actually not a big deal. Another month or so, some rest, some physical therapy, some hot tub, and a bottle of prescription muscle relaxants as big as my head. Should clear it right up.